Facing my fears

It’s been a minute since I posted on the grid. The truth is, I’ve started writing this post a few times and then I always hesitate. I know that a lot of the accounts I follow and enjoy show relatable truths and brutal honesty. I also know vulnerability is a sign of strength and a source of connection which can promote a sense of community. And yet still, I hesitate for “whatever the reason” to post my personal experiences the last few months.

But deep down I know exactly the reason I hesitate: fear of judgement, fear of misinterpretation, fear of putting it all on display, fear, fear, fear.

Except, living in fear is no way to live.

Writing has always been cathartic and deeply personal for me. So why not share? I need to push past my own fears and insecurities if I want to heal.

And, as I journey on a path towards acceptance of life’s new realities, one thing I’m learning is, “when I accept myself, I am free from the burden of needing you to accept me.”

So here we go…on August 25th I was in a car accident leaving me with impaired blurry vision in my left eye. My pupil is permanently dilated. Collectively, this makes me extremely sensitive to light. I have been wearing sunglasses around the clock, even when I’m indoors.

It’s a journey to heal physically, emotionally, and mentally, and to adjust and accept new capabilities and capacities while living with chronic pain. As I work through it, my hope is that writing and sharing will help just as it has always proven to before.

More posts to come.