What the F**K HAPPENED

So you want to know what happened…

I was waiting to make a left while a stream of cars passed by on a single lane country road. I consciously allowed that last lingering vehicle in the caravan to go by. The driver coming up fast behind me was distracted, and in an attempt to avoid collision swerved to the left side just at the exact moment I was beginning to turn left. 

I was t-boned, from behind, on a single lane, double solid yellow line road, and I never saw it coming.

The airbags went off, a few of them. I was swiped and struck on the driver’s side. The impact knocked me so hard my sunglasses broke and blew off of my face as I was sucker punched in every sense of the word. I remember the puffy clouds of white coming at me as I was being plowed by the other vehicle pushing my car back parallel with the roadway.

As my car came to a complete stop I sat for a second in complete shock thinking, “what the F**K just happened?!”

I was instantaneously perplexed. 

Seriously, what the F**K just happened?!

I was quite literally only minutes away from safely arriving home, and at the same time I distinctly remember feeling immediate relief and gratitude that in this rare, rare occasion, my kids were not with me. 

I didn’t even attempt to touch the driver side door which was damaged and smoking from the gun powder. I quickly glanced in my rearview for oncoming cars and hopped across the center console to the passenger side of the car and sprung out of the vehicle. 

The white SUV that struck me took flight after it slammed into me. I watched in awe as it hit the sloped curb with acceleration and launched off of it like a stunt ramp, only to continue down the ditch and into the trees.

I staggered out of the car across the road towards the other driver. He was getting out of his vehicle and indicated he was ok and I was walking, so we both got lucky in that way. 

It was one of those late August hot and humid summer days where you can feel the stormy weather in the air is imminent, but the persistent ringing in my ears drowned out all my other senses. I was totally disoriented and confused. That’s when I realized I couldn’t see out of my left eye. It was immediately swollen, throbbing and bleeding. But more threatening was that my vision was fuzzy and white, like a snowy tv channel. Scary and unnerving to say the least. 

At last I sat down on the curb in exhaustion, which is when I finally saw my mangled car still sitting in the middle of the intersection for the first time. Eventually the other driver moves my car off to the side - visibly shaken, there was no way I was getting behind the wheel in that moment. I popped the trunk and sat down on the hatch for a while to regain my wits. 

Two women appear (dare I say angels?!), one a close by neighbour who heard the crash and rushed to help, and the other was the woman sitting at the intersection waiting to make her turn (avoiding her vehicle is allegedly the reason the SUV driver swerved into oncoming traffic rather than to the shoulder). She saw it all. Me, a “sitting duck” as this man actually accelerated as he slammed into me at the most inopportune moment. Her account was invaluable as otherwise I truly had no idea of what had happened.

Emergency response was called and charges were laid. I was taken to hospital by ambulance. Everyone from police to firefighters to EMS were wonderfully compassionate, another blessing. 

Riding in the ambulance my left eye was throbbing, swelling further, and gradually turning purple and terrifyingly I still could not see anything. Trying my best to keep positive and calm as I was assured by the paramedics that the airbag powder can sometimes irritate the eyes and my sight would likely recover. However, a few hours sitting in emerge proved differently. 

Those hours alone (Covid) in the ER were some of most mentally and physically toughest of my life. 

I remember the news station ticking by on tv and the same commercials playing at every break. Intermittently doing eye checks on myself trying to grasp at fogged headlines to see if there was an improvement in my vision. I sobbed in both pain and despair as I pillowed a bag of ice completely nauseated from shock and hunger while vomiting into my mask. The cruel twist was the harder I cried the more it hurt my eye. 

After examination, the doctor identified my misshapen, enlarged pupil and I was given a referral to an ophthalmologist. He also suspected a retina tear and prescribed eye drops. 

I left the hospital completely defeated and with my vision still completely obstructed with no indication of what the future may hold sight-wise.

By then it was early evening, I kissed the kids goodnight in their beds and then collapsed in my own. 

Heartbroken, in shock, and unsure of what the future would bring. Luckily the exhaustion took over and I slept til morning.